Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] You're listening to the Remote Mom Collective podcast, where moms can find their stride in the remote work world. Whether you currently work remotely or you want to, you're in the right place. I'm Brittany, the Remote mom, and I've been working remotely since 2007. I became a mom in 2015, and there's a lot to learn. Together, we'll support, inspire, and empower each other on our journey to balance work, life, and motherhood. From the comfort of our own homes or wherever we're working remotely together, let's redefine what it means to be a working mom. Let's support and inspire each other.
[00:00:48] Hey there, and welcome to another episode of the Remote Mom Collective podcast. I am Brittany the Remote mom, and today we're going to be talking about how to choose your own adventure as a mom and as a professional. You know, we have these paths that we start when we're in school, and the path is you go to high school, you go to college, then you get a job, or you get married and have kids, or you go into the military, or you go to college, and then you go to med school or law school or something after you go to grad school. Or maybe you. You know, the new thing is, is taking a year off. People didn't really do that when I was in high school, at least I don't remember anybod know of taking a year off. I think that probably would have helped a lot of people if we had all taken years off. But honestly, I think we were so excited to start college that we didn't want to take a year off.
[00:01:42] But there's that path, that typical path that we usually follow as people and as we get into, you know, our careers, if we are going to have a career and we feel pressure, we feel pressured of to follow that conventional path. And especially because we're moms, there's a motherhood path that we feel pressure to follow, and then also in the career path. And so blending those two together can feel really restrictive. It can feel lonely. It can feel like you are not doing as much as the other person is doing, and it's easy to compare to other people. And so one of the things that we need to understand is that our path is our choice. The choices that we make determine our path forward. And we can change that path at any time. And that's the beauty of it, is that it can change. We just have to make that decision to change.
[00:02:42] If you aren't happy with what you're doing, then figure out how to get out of it. Figure out how to better yourself, to change your path, to get to whatever that, that end goal that you want to be at.
[00:02:57] It's all in your choice, all in your control.
[00:03:01] Today we're going to talk about Sarah Blakely. And some of y'all know who she is. Some of y'all may not know who she is. Most people know who she is. She's the founder of Spanx. And she is an example of someone who took a unique path to blend her career with her personal values as a mom and an entrepreneur. And some of us are not entrepreneurs. Some of us are. So this might resonate with you. If it doesn't resonate with you, then take the pieces that do and that inspire you and go forward with that.
[00:03:34] So if you don't know Sarah's story, she was selling fax machines door to door in Atlanta. And actually I'm in Atlanta too. Sarah, I would love to meet you. Just putting that out in the universe. Maybe you could be a guest on the podcast. But she was selling fax machines door to door and she, she felt that this career was not aligned with her true potential. If y'all have ever used a fax machine, I don't know why that would be anybody's passion or your true potential. Fax machines were very frustrating. And back when I first started in the workforce, we used to fax a lot and they can be very frustrating, Very similar to a printer, very frustrating piece of machinery. And so she was selling these door to door and she was inspired by her own personal need. She was wearing suits, she was going door to door, and her undergarments were super uncomfortable and they weren't flattering. If y'all ever wore pantyhose that came in the little egg shapes in the drugstore back in the day, you'll know how uncomfortable those things are or were sure they're more comfortable now. But she needed something to help her look better, feel better, be more confident in her day to day being a professional.
[00:04:54] And she created Spanx with no formal background in fashion or business, if you can believe this. She just took a risk. She knew that she didn't want to do the fax machine thing anymore. She took a risk. She invested her $5,000 in savings into the idea turned Spanx into a billion dollar business. Now look, I would love to do something like that. I don't know that. Okay, I could do it. If I put my mind to it, I could absolutely do it. You could do it too. But my passion is not to create something. And well, okay, yes, it is. I'm not going to say that I take it back. I would love to have a billion dollar business, but I don't know what that is yet. Maybe it's the remote mom, maybe it's the remote mom collective, and that's a billion dollar business.
[00:05:42] But you have to have the passion for it. You have to have the, you have to feel. You have to take that risk. Good things don't come, you know, you have to take that risk. Good things don't come. That's not what I was meaning to say. But you have to take risks in life. You have to feel uncomfortable and you have to do scary things to make a difference. And so what Sarah wanted to do is she really wanted to keep her work flexible to allow time for her kids.
[00:06:14] So she really emphasizes the importance of showing her children that they can take unconventional paths and still succeed. So Sarah's path was completely different than going to college and getting that job and then getting married and having kids and having that 9 to 5 and going to the office and coming home every day. She wanted something completely different in her life and she created it.
[00:06:36] She has shared that for her. Success isn't just about business achievements, but it's also about being present with her family and instilling values like resilience and creativity in her kids. So Sarah's story highlights that creating a life path aligned with your life values often means taking those risks and embracing flexibility.
[00:06:59] Even now, she continues to show that it's possible to blend business success with a commitment to family life, all while following her passions and being true to herself. And that is so hard to do if you are not following your passion, if you don't know what your passion is. So if we go back, if you listen back to the last episode when I was talking about finding out your soul favors, go back and listen to that episode right before this one to help you figure out what your passions are. But just think what comes naturally easy to you. What are you? What do you value in life? Do you want that flexibility? Do you like being able to go to the gym at 10 o'clock in the morning and then jump back on to work and then go pick up your kid from school and work for longer and then maybe run to the grocery store and then come home and work longer? Think about those things that are important to you. And when you're vocal about it or when you put it out in the universe, or you create opportunity or look for opportunity or ask for it, sometimes all you have to do is ask.
[00:08:00] Then you can create that reality for yourself.
[00:08:04] So one thing that Sarah said, a quote from her is, don't be intimidated by what you don't know. That can be your greatest strength. And ensure that you do things differently than everyone else, which is absolutely true. What you don't know, you know that saying what you don't know won't hurt you. I mean, it could help you. It really could help you. And you come in with a fresh idea and a new angle that nobody else has thought about. I came into the podcasting world back when I started in 2016 with the Milspouse Coffee House podcast and had absolutely no idea how to start a podcast. I didn't know anything about creating a Facebook page. I didn't. Well, I take that back. I did, but I didn't know to the extent of doing the marketing for it and creating content and getting partners and collaborating. I didn't know those things. So I just kind of made it up as I went along.
[00:09:03] And if you do things right, you do things right. And if you do things wrong, I mean, I don't really know that there is a way to do things wrong. If it's your own business and your own thing that you're creating, you might do things wrong financially, and you may might make wrong decisions for your clientele, whomever you're creating the content for or you're creating items for, but just try. And the way that you are doing it might be the new way. You might be inventing something and you just don't even know it.
[00:09:33] So we all have the freedom to redefine our own paths. I mentioned that earlier.
[00:09:40] Nobody's path is set in stone. We all have free will. So let's say you do go to college. Let's say you get that college degree and you're 20 years into your career and you hate it and you want to start over, then start over.
[00:09:57] Figure out what your passion is, figure out what you're good at, and be a loud voice. And if it's an opportunity where you're not, you don't have the opportunity to create your own business. That's okay.
[00:10:09] Create a brand for yourself. And if you're trying to get hired at another company, make yourself visible, create a website, create a podcast, write a book, do a video series, have your YouTube channel, and be an expert in something, whatever you're passionate about, because that passion could lead to your unconventional path and allow you to choose your own adventure.
[00:10:37] So let's talk about core values to Guide decisions. So Sarah valued both family and creativity and that guided her to build a business that allowed her to express her creativity while maintaining flexibility for her family. And that's something that's really important to me too. Flexibility is something that is top, I would say in my top 10 requirements in my career is that flexibility. And I would say most people probably want that flexibility. Nobody really wants to work 9 to 5 at a desk, I don't think.
[00:11:12] But if you have the ability to create that and you know that's a boundary for you, then put that out there and create something that allows you to have that flexibility. Maybe it's a side gig at first, maybe it's a passion project at first. Again, like I said, put yourself out there and just try take that chance on yourself. Trust yourself and go out there and be uncomfortable and do something that could eventually lead into an income producing product for you or an income producing service. You never know. And along that while, make sure that you're still have those values in focus as you're creating this opportunity or you're creating this business or brand for yourself.
[00:12:04] I want you to think about your own core values and how these can shape your life choices. So example values might be family, financial security, might be independence, might be creativity. Think about what that could be for you. It might not be flexibility. It might be, I have to have a job that pays $200,000 a year and I don't care if I go to the office Monday through Friday, but as long as it pays me $200,000 a year, then I'm good. And if that's what you care about, then fabulous. That works for you.
[00:12:38] People who align their activities with their values are 32% more likely to feel fulfilled in their personal and professional lives. And that's from the Values institute. Back from 2020. Back from 2020. Can you believe that? That was four years ago. Side note.
[00:12:56] So if you align your activities and your values, you're happier. We talked about that on the last podcast about your soul favors and your passions. So I think the theme here is if you want to choose your own adventure and you want to create your own path, you're going to have to be vocal about what you want. But before you're vocal about what you want, you're going to have to know what that is and to get there, journal. If you don't know what it is, just start writing, jot it down, go for a walk, don't take anything with you. Take your phone, but don't listen to anything. Just Listen to nature, listen to the thoughts in your head, and just start thinking and start really digging into what you value. If you were offered a job today or an opportunity fell in your lap for, I don't know, let's say, a business idea, what would those things, those top 10 must haves to make it align perfectly and to make it your dream job, what would that be? Do you even know? Because if you don't, you need to figure it out. And you should write it down and put it on a piece of paper and put it on your bulletin board or on your fridge or on your bathroom mirror so you see it every morning and make sure that's something that you understand to your core. And if it changes, because it might change as you, as you grow development, you know, you develop professionally, if you, as your family dynamics change, as your personal life changes, as your career changes, those things might change. So you, you'll update those, but you have to know what they are first.
[00:14:36] So let's talk about the experience piece. If we go back, Sarah had no clue and no experience in fashion or manufacturing, but she still took that leap of faith. Because she was so passionate about this potential product, she chose not to follow a traditional corporate route and instead went after an idea that she truly believed in. So if you have an idea that you feel, feel to your core, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, why aren't you doing it? What's holding you back? Figure out what's holding you back. Is it money?
[00:15:11] Is it that you're scared?
[00:15:14] Is it you don't know how to do it?
[00:15:17] Is it all of those things? Figure out what's holding you back from moving forward? Is it somebody telling you that you can't do it? Because that could very well be a roadblock. And if somebody's telling you that you can't do it, then you need to have a hard conversation with that person.
[00:15:34] And either you just need to be stubborn and say, I'm going to do it no matter what, or, you know, and I love you, or whatever, whoever that person is to you. Or maybe it's a situation where you need to part ways because they're going to be a super roadblock for you. And I'm assuming if they're roadblocking this particular path for you or this potential path for you, they're probably roadblocking other things as well. But that's another episode for another day.
[00:16:02] So this is the thing. And I found this quote by Lucille Ball and she said, I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. Can you. Can you think about how many things in the past that you. Look, I've got a ton of regrets. I've got a ton of regrets of things that I've done, but most of them are stupid, and most of them involve the four years that I was in college. So I think we all have things that we regret when we were in college.
[00:16:30] But if we think about the things that we didn't do, there's so many things that I look back and I'm like, oh, I wish I would have tried out for the cheerleading team in college. I was such a good cheerleader in high school. I was the captain in high school. I loved it. It was my passion.
[00:16:46] But I didn't try out in college because I wanted something different. Cheerleading had been my life for so many years. I kind of was ready for a break, and I think by the time I was ready to jump back in, it was too late.
[00:17:00] I regret not joining a sorority or not going through rush. I think a lot of opportunities could have been available to me if I had done that. I regret not doing better in college. A lot of my regrets go back to college, like I said. But. But again, go back to that quote. What are the things that you haven't done? I'd rather have regrets of things that I've done than things that I haven't done. So just do it. If it brings you success, then you're not going to regret that.
[00:17:30] But if you miss an opportunity because you were scared, you're always going to have that shoulda, woulda, coulda or the what if, if only.
[00:17:40] And I feel like those hurt worse than the regrets of the things that I'd done because at least I did something.
[00:17:50] Unconventional paths like Sarah's are possible, but you have to embrace the uncertainty and lean into your strengths.
[00:18:00] Once you know what your strengths are, let those support you.
[00:18:05] Be confident in yourself. Be confident in those strengths.
[00:18:10] Know that you will persevere and you will pull through. And if you fail, that failure is not a failure. That failure is an opportunity for you to pull back and try again. Or you pivot and you do something different, and you realize, okay, I tried. It didn't work. Now I'm going to try something new. I have the courage to try something new.
[00:18:34] Might be super.
[00:18:37] You might feel defeated, and there might need to be some time in between. Try number one and try number two. But keep going. You're not going to get it on the first try. Remember, when you were learning how to ride a bike, you didn't get it on the first time.
[00:18:53] So let's talk about how we can figure out how to align our career and life choices with our personal values. And I'm going to go through this exercise as well. Let's do things. Things like value mapping. So what that means is you outline your top values and then brainstorm ways to incorporate them into your daily routine. So if you, if you value consistency, oh, my gosh, that is something that I'm really trying hard to work on. Or flexibility, try. Try to put that in your daily routine. If that's something you really value, put that in your routine.
[00:19:31] Do some visualization exercises. Imagine your ideal career.
[00:19:36] Imagine your ideal family life five years from now. What does that look like? Create yourself a vision board. If that helps you go on Pinterest. I actually started creating Pinterest boards for the podcast in season one, and I haven't. I'll probably do it for season two as well. But Pinterest is a great way to do a digital vision board. To me, it's not as impactful because it's just like, pin here, pin here, pin here, click this button. But if you were to sit down and grab a whole bunch of magazines the old school way and cut them out and write on a cardboard, put it in your office, or not a cardboard, a poster board, put it in your office or put it in your bedroom or in your closet, somewhere that you can look at it and remind yourself where you would like to be in five years.
[00:20:21] This is my goal in five years to help stay on track.
[00:20:28] Sarah built Spanx slowly. So one of the things. I am a super impatient person. I'm patient when it comes to some things, but I'm super impatient when it comes to others.
[00:20:39] And I want stuff to happen now, now, now, now, now. But success doesn't happen overnight. You have to work hard. It comes with the hard work, it comes with the failure, it comes with the downfalls.
[00:20:54] It comes with all of those learning experiences that you, that you have when you're, when you're building something new, all of the stumbling, all of the mistakes.
[00:21:04] She balanced her time between work and family to build the business. And so it took a little while, but my gosh, look at it now. All that time spent, certainly worth it now.
[00:21:16] Gradual steps can lead to success.
[00:21:19] Baby steps can lead to success. You don't have to do anything big and extravagant overnight. Just take it one day at a time.
[00:21:30] Moms who find alignment between work and personal values report 28% higher satisfaction. That's the Pew Research from 2019. 28% is a good number, huh? 28% higher satisfaction.
[00:21:45] Moms, you know, sometimes moms can be hard to make happy. It's hard sometimes for us to find joy because we're tired.
[00:21:53] We've got a lot going on. We've got a lot of juggling.
[00:21:57] But when we're aligned and work doesn't feel like work, and work feels like something you love and something you're passionate about, you're going to want to do it. You're going to be a happier person. You're not going to dread going into the office every day or whenever you go.
[00:22:15] All right, so these are your action items. We're going to do these together. I'm going to do it, too.
[00:22:20] These are some small steps that you can take today.
[00:22:24] Reflect on your adventure. Reflect on where you've been. What has gotten you to this point today?
[00:22:33] Write about that. What got you here, and what are some big things that you've learned along the way?
[00:22:39] Now I want you to spend time journaling about your dream life.
[00:22:45] Just write it out. Could be anything.
[00:22:50] If money and time were no issue, what would you do?
[00:22:55] What would be your absolute dream job, your dream career? What does that look like? Does that work in retail? Because I'll tell you, I love. I was talking with a coworker last week and some of the happiest times that in my working career was when I was working retail. I loved it. Now, I didn't work in a clothes shop. I worked at a stationery store. So very different. I wasn't folding clothes, but I got to be creative. I got to create wedding invitations and holiday cards and birth announcements and I got to help people pick things out. And it was such a fun process. And I just loved ordering stock and pricing it and putting it out. And I just loved being in the store and communicating with people every day.
[00:23:40] My happy place would be owning a boutique somewhere and having a place to go and hang out all day long and sell to my customers. That would be my ideal dream job. And be a billionaire, of course. Right? Because who wouldn't want to be a billionaire?
[00:23:56] Also, think about your value based decisions. Pick one decision in your life now and evaluate how it aligns with your core values. So think about it at any decision that you've made. Maybe you accepted a new job recently, maybe you quit a job.
[00:24:12] Why? Why did you do those things? How does it align with your core values?
[00:24:19] I want you to also explore unconventional role models so Research other women who took unconventional paths in their careers and family, and they live for inspiration.
[00:24:33] Oh, I said that wrong. That's what I get for reading notes. Here we go. Redo.
[00:24:39] Research other women who took unconventional paths in their careers, in their careers and family, and they live for inspiration. That sentence was not written properly in my notes, so I apologize, but you know what I mean. Find those people that inspire you. Shonda Rhimes came up in my research, and I don't know a lot about her story, but she's someone to definitely explore and look at. She had a yes year where she said yes to everything.
[00:25:07] Think of those women in our, maybe even in your own personal life that have unconventional careers. Ask them questions. Ask them how they got there. Why did they get there? What did they do?
[00:25:18] All right, so I want you to understand that you have to stay open to change and growth. Change is scary. We get comfortable. We're in our little nest, and everything is great. And I'm talking to myself because we're going through something right now.
[00:25:32] And, you know, change is scary, but it's necessary for growth.
[00:25:40] Being uncomfortable is necessary for growth.
[00:25:44] Sarah's journey was not linear. She embraced changes, took risks, and stayed open to learning. And that's what you have to do.
[00:25:53] I encourage you to stay flexible and just let your adventure evolve. Now, it's not going to unfold in front of you like rolling out the red carpet without you doing anything. You have to do some action. You have to do some things.
[00:26:09] Your path doesn't have to look like anyone else's to be valuable and fulfilling.
[00:26:16] Your path does not have to look like anyone else's to be valuable and fulfilling. If you find your path valuable and fulfilling, then that's your path. That's where you're supposed to be.
[00:26:30] I'll leave you with another quote from Sarah, and she says, embrace what you don't know, especially in the beginning, because what you don't know can become your greatest asset.
[00:26:43] I love that.
[00:26:45] Because eventually you'll know it, right? And you'll know all of the things that you did wrong. But what you don't know, what you don't know is like on the other side of that mountain, you don't know what's back there. Keep going, keep going. You'll learn eventually.
[00:27:07] So I do want to just wrap up today. We're at the end of the episode. I want to just encourage you to trust your instincts and understand that you can design the life that feels authentic to you, just like Sara Blakely did, just like Shonda Rhimes did, just like Dolly Parton did. There are so many wonderful role models out there for us to look up to that are not doing the conventional career path.
[00:27:37] I want you to take this opportunity to journal and understand what makes you. You think about things you've done in the past.
[00:27:47] Maybe. Maybe there's some old passions or old interests that you had many years ago, and maybe now is the time to revisit those and see if that's something that could potentially be your path. If you're a little lost, go within. And I know that's hard to do sometimes, journaling, going for walks, actually just go. Even in your neighborhood, it doesn't have to be like a hike in the woods, although sometimes that makes it better because there's not really a lot of distractions out there. Just go and think.
[00:28:18] Or sit on your back porch on the rocking chair. If it's not too hot or not too cold or there's no mosquitoes, or if it's comfortable, go sit and rock and think. Sometimes I go sit on my daughter's swings in the backyard and just swing and think.
[00:28:35] Get those mental juices flowing and you'll find out who you are, you'll find out your passions. You'll get there. But you have to put in the work. And that's the important part.
[00:28:47] If you need help with any of this, or if you want to share what your passions are, or if you just need to talk, email me at the Mom.
[00:28:56] So, mom. At the Remote Mom. No, sorry, got a new email address. Momote Mom. That's my email. Momtheremote. Mom.
[00:29:10] Or you can message me on LinkedIn. Connect with me on LinkedIn and let me know how you're doing. Let me know what your passions are. And, you know, let's. Let's talk about it. Tell me. Tell me your goals, and let's maybe try to keep each other accountable.
[00:29:28] With that being said, I hope you have a wonderful day. As we say here at the Remote Mom Collective, being different makes a difference. So let's support and inspire each other. Talk to y'all later.
[00:30:41] Sa.
