Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: You're listening to the Remote Mom Collective podcast where moms can find their stride in the remote work world. Whether you currently work remotely or you want to, you're in the right place. I'm Brittany, the remote mom, and I've been working remotely since 2007. I became a mom in 2015 and.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: There'S a lot to learn.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Together, we'll support, inspire and empower each other on our journey to balance work, life and motherhood. From the comfort of our own homes or wherever we're working remotely together, let's redefine what it means to be a working mom. Let's support and inspire each other.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: Hey there. You're listening to another episode of the Remote Mom Collective podcast. I'm Brittany the remote mom and I'm so glad you're here today. I'm trying out a different microphone, so if it sounds a little bit different than normal, that's why hopefully this audio sounds good. We'll see what happens. If it doesn't sound good, then I won't use this mic again.
But today we are going to talk about how looking young can make us not progress in our professional space. So I've got a couple of episode titles that I started and I'm not sure what I like so far. I will figure it out once this podcast is recorded, but right now it's the double edged sword of looking young. But I think I'm going to go with something more like breaking the mold, Redefining professionalism when looking young. So we'll see how this episode unfolds as I record today and we'll see what the best title is that fits this recording.
So this is for those of us who look really young. They say that age is just a number, but in reality how old we look can significantly impact how others perceive us. So today we're going to dive deep into the unique challenges and perks that come with looking young in the workplace. From assumptions about experience to surprising reactions when people find out our actual age. We'll explore how appearance shapes our professor.
We will explore how appearance shapes professional perceptions.
I am in my 40s and I have a very much a baby face. I don't necessarily like. If you looked at my whole body, this is not the body that I had when I was in my 20s. I was much more fit, but my face looks really young when I'm compared to other people who are my same age. I've had a lot of people think that I'm in my 20s and I'm in my 40s and look, I'm not complaining, but I am complaining. It is one of those things that in real life, like we all want to look young and it looks great. And sure, in 20 years I'm probably going to be really excited that when I'm 62, I look 42. Hopefully that's still the case. But it can hinder being professional and being taken seriously. And I've noticed that not only in social situations, in clubs that I've, you know, managed and have built, and also in just in general life and in the workplace, it's easy to not be taken as seriously until they find out how old I am. And then they're like, oh, she knows what she's doing because, or what she's talking about because she's actually had that experience, she's actually had that time.
So let's talk about how looking young can lead to assumptions.
There's this assumption about inexperience and this also goes with being young too. So there is that assumption that if you are fresh out of college and in your first job, you don't know what you're doing. Well, in fact, you probably do what you know, you know what you're doing. You're, you're fresh out of that training. So you're probably more up to date on the most recent processes and lessons and case studies than those of us who are coming up on their 20 year graduation from college anniversary. Right. So there is this thing about being young. We all want to be young, but when it comes to experience and in the workplace, being young is frowned upon. Unless you are the young CEO of a company where you can still be looked down upon even by your employees. Like, you know, if you are a 25 year old CEO of a company, you're probably not going to be taken as seriously from those who've been in the business for 40 years because they're like, oh, you're fresh. You don't really know what you're talking about. So the being young and the looking young can go hand in hand. So if you are young and you know, I'm talking to you too, really, I'm talking to those of us that look young, those of us that are young. And then I'm talking to those others too to understand so that you can understand that this is something that's real and it is something that is, makes me really uncomfortable sometimes.
Looking young often leads others to assume that you are inexperienced or just starting out. And this might lead to being overlooked for certain responsibilities or taken less seriously. And I've said this. I just said this a couple minutes ago. I've actually presented ideas in certain situations, mostly in the volunteer orgs that I've been involved with more so work. Because I usually in work try to make it really clear how old I am.
Because I do find that once people find out, they do take me more seriously. But in a new club volunteer organization, when I've come in and have kind of rebuilt everything from the ground up, I usually make it blatantly clear that, you know, this is my age. This is the amount of years of experience I have. I'm not just coming into this fresh faced and bushy tailed with no experience and big ideas.
I've been through this before. And usually when I say that, like when I raise my hand for an idea, people will look at me first. And then when I say, yeah, in my 20 years of experience or even my blah, blah, blah years of experience, then they kind of look at me for a second and they're like, how do you have 20 years of experience? And then I say, I was born in 1982.
They kind of look at me again. And then I kind of play the joke of, yeah, I drank the potion from Death Becomes Her. So I have a stockpile of spray paint in my basement. So if you haven't seen Death Becomes her, please watch that movie. It's Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, Meryl Streep. It is hilarious. One of my favorite movies. They're actually doing a remake and it's a Broadway musical or it's going to be a Broadway musical. Anyway, I always say that joke and some people get it and some people don't. And you can always tell who gets it. They're in the same demographic as me. I also say things like, yeah, my last name is Sanderson and my sisters, you know, killed children, drank the lives from children, so from Hocus Pocus as well. So I do play it off as a joke kind of where I'm like, yeah, I know I look young. It's good genes, I guess. Honestly, I don't do anything crazy in my routine. I was one of those that put that apricot scrub on our faces and used Noxzema. That tingled the crap out of my skin. And Sea Breeze toner and oxy. Remember the oxy pad? So it's not anything about health care. I mean, I do drink a lot of water, but I am, I'm not like in my best physical shape. I have some pounds to lose. So it's not about keeping yourself in shape. It's literally about jeans for the most part, like just having those jeans that make you look young.
And honestly, I. I have gray hairs that come out, and sometimes I leave the gray hairs out just so that's an, you know, because that's an indication a lot of times that you. You are a little bit more seasoned and you have more experience in life. Not necessarily all the time, because there are some people in their 20s that go gray, but usually it's an indication that you're, you know, you've got some. You've got some time. You, you know, you're a little bit older if you have gray hair.
But I usually, when I tell people my age, they're. They're surprised.
And it's so interesting how people's perceptions change when they learn that I'm older. And it just shows how assumptions shift when they discover the truth about my age. So I've sat next to so many people many times, especially women. Women usually think I'm much younger than I am. Men usually have no idea. Men usually don't know. I could be anywhere from, like 25 to 45 or 48, I guess. Men have no clue. Women typically think I'm younger. I actually sat next to a woman several years ago, and we. She was being very condescending to me, and I knew she was probably 10 years younger than I was.
Actually this was four or five. Four years ago, maybe four years ago. And she's easily 10 years younger than I am. And she was being very condescending, talking to me about how, you know. Oh, you'll know when you get there. You'll know. You'll understand. You don't understand now. And I referenced a show I actually referenced.
I can't remember what movie it was. I referenced a movie that came out in the early 90s. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm the same actress as. Oh, oh, I know what it was. Interview with a Vampire with Kirsten Dunst and Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. And. And I mentioned that I was the same age as Kirsten Dunst, and she might be like, I don't know, six months or a year older than me. But I mentioned that. And the woman, the girl looked at me and she's like, what? She goes, you weren't. Or she said at first she was like, you weren't alive or you weren't old enough to watch to know what that movie is. And I said, yes, I am. I'm the same age as Kirsten Dunst. And she looked at me for a minute. She Goes, how old are you? And I told her how old I was at that time. And she was like, oh, my gosh, I had no idea. She goes, I thought you were at least like, 25, 26.
And what's interesting is as soon as she found out how old I was, the conversation changed and she stopped being condescending. And it was not, oh, you'll know when you get there. It was more of like, she was actually asking me questions and asking me for advice on things. So it's just really funny how we have to feel like being older is better. Which I have been there before, too. I definitely have been the one that's like, when you get my age, you'll learn this.
But I'm. It's weird because I'm living that same, like, I'm living that. I'm living that. That simultaneously where I get it from other people, where they're like, oh, you'll get it when you're older. And then I'm also saying it to other people. So, I mean, I guess I'm in the wrong because I shouldn't be doing that, because I know exactly what it feels like.
But I want to share. I feel like this is an important topic because I don't know that it's really been talked about a lot about how looking young can kind of hinder your the way that you're perceived by other people.
35% of professionals reported being underestimated at work due to looking younger than they are. And that was a Business Insider study that they did in 2022. 35% of professionals reported being underestimated at work due to looking younger than they are.
Why do we underestimate people because they. They're young? There have been so many young people that have done such wonderful things. I guess we just assume that people who are older have more experience, even though maybe it's like the same repetitive experience over and over again.
But we just assume that maybe they have more life experience in general, which is true, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they're better at something simply because they've been doing it the same way for 20 years. This new person might be coming in with a fresh new take on something. Some may view looking young as a sign of being energetic and adaptable, which can be appealing in dynamic workplaces. So if you're in the right workplace and they really love that fresh, energetic, new field of something and new way of thinking, then this could be to your advantage. But I think the majority of places where we're working is in places that are established and they're set in their ways and it's kind of their way or the highway or we've always done it this way. It seems to be working if it works, if it's not broke, don't fix it kind of situation. So it does depend on the environment that you're in.
And you know, people who look younger can often make a favorable impression as they're seen as enthusiastic and open minded versus an older person who is quote unquote, stuck in their ways. And they've been doing it the same way for 20 years. So I do have that advantage when coming into a new situation. And people are usually wary. They're not weary. Weary, Weary, yes. Not wary, weary, leery.
What's the word? I'm trying to say they are very curious and not really certain. They're just kind of cautious about new things. And sometimes when I've come in and have fresh ideas, I can play it off like, oh, I'm new, I don't know what I'm talking about because I do look young. So there is that advantage there, I suppose.
But youth is not entirely a time of life. It's a state of mind. And I think we've seen that a lot with folks that are in their 80s, 90s and they're still playing tennis and they're still active and they don't lay in their beds all day and they don't have a walker and they're not sitting around waiting to die essentially. And I know that sounds really morbid, but there are people out there that are in that state of mind once they turn a certain age and they stop living and the people that you see that are enjoying life and they're trying new things even into their 80s, 90s, and maybe some people even into their hundreds. You know, appearing young can influence others perceptions of your mindset and openness to new ideas. So those of us that are constantly learning, even as we get older and we're open to learning new processes and we're opening to learning new ways and new technology instead of, oh, we've always done it this way and it works, why not? Okay, let's try it. What do we have to lose? Let's try to do something new. It might help us in the long run, it might make it easier.
We've been doing it manually for so long that, you know, we forgot what it's like to have extra time in our day. And this new process will allow us to have an extra hour a day. So it's Having that open mentality or that youthful mindset that change is good. I think sometimes when we get older we, we are scared of change simply because it's worked for the past so many years that whatever we're doing has worked and we, no matter how hard maybe it is and how painful it is, it has worked and got the result. And so we're not usually as open to new ideas.
I think also too, and I actually have experienced this as well is especially in the workplace. And I know there's a lot of talk, negative talk about Gen Z and let me tell you, I've worked with some Gen Z folks and I'm so impressed by their work ethic and how hard they work. Now there are some I have had experience with, some who feel they come off as very entitled because that's all they know and that's, that's what they were taught and that's their experience at other companies or whatever they were hand given these certain priorities or privileges. I guess privileges is the right thing to say early on. So you know, I had to work super long hours, I had to work set hours, very strict times for so long. And I go in and work with some of these younger folks and I'm like, I had to do it this way for XYZ many years and, and it was a requirement and it was expected and you didn't do it any other way. And they're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you had to do that. So they just don't know any better. And I do kind of have sometimes that mentality of well, I put in my time, you need to put in your time as well. Like I worked all those years and it sucked. So you need to put in the years of suck as well.
And I think the reality of it is we just want somebody else to go through the hardships that we went through to get to where we are. Which where I am isn't really that much higher up than I was 20 years ago, to be honest with you. So it's like I put in all that work for nothing and these kids are coming in and they're getting it immediately. So I think there is a little bit of resentment that's there from as people who have worked as long as I have. Maybe you're my age and we feel like we put in a lot more work. But I think really what it comes down to is we put in a lot of unnecessary work and maybe that's another topic for another day for us to talk about. But I do think that there is something with these new employees and these new people coming in with fresh ideas and they're like, well, why, why did you, why did you stay around for that long? And a lot of these younger people are leaving companies and they're working places less and less. And staying at a company for 20 years, 30 years, your entire career is not really a thing that you do anymore. In order to promote and have career growth, you, you move around, which, I mean, even 10 years ago, you didn't do that. If you had a, if you had any sort of, I mean, I used to look at resumes and if people were at a company less than like five years, I, I'd be like, why are you job hopping?
And if they were at a company for a year, I was like, oh my gosh, you have a problem. But if you looked at their resume, each year that they hopped, they got, they had, they had more growth in their career. So, you know, the young people aren't stupid. They're just doing things differently. And so we have to look at.
Being young is not a weakness. Looking and thinking that people are young is not something that we need to look down on them for. They're just having a different experience in a different time. Things were different when we were younger, and now it's a different time and there's more opportunity, I think that's more available to younger people. And so we need to stop discrediting them simply because they look young and we think that we have more experience than them.
You know, people may feel the need to over overcompensate, to assert their knowledge or experience, especially in leadership roles when they are, when they look young, they're often perceived as naive or lacking authority when they look young. I mean, I don't know how many times I used to look at somebody and this is not nice, but it's true. And I'd be like, oh my Gosh, she's like 12 years old. What does she know what she's talking, how does she even know what she's talking about? And when that has come out of my mouth, I stop myself and I'm like, you know what? I was there too. And I was smart at that age. And maybe I didn't have as much experience, but I was open to ideas and open to trying new things. And whereas maybe my older, you know, as I've gotten older, new ideas to me were kind of like, I kind of stuck my nose up at them. Especially if somebody younger than me that had less experience was offering that idea, I think at first I kind of was a little apprehensive about it. Apprehensive. That's the word I was trying to think of earlier. Apprehensive individuals feel compelled to emphasize their credentials or experience to counteract the biases associated with looking younger. And I've actually done this as well.
Not meaning to come off as braggy, but when I've met people, I've been like, oh, yeah, I've been doing this for 20 years, and I've been doing this for 15 years, and I've been doing this. And I got this certification and this certification. And I don't mean it to come off braggy, but because my face is what people see first and they think that I'm only a couple years out of college, I want to prove to them that I actually have a lot of experience.
And so it does come off as braggy. And it might be not a very good first impression, but I have that. I feel that need to come off and be like, look at all these things I've done. Look at all these cool things that I've accomplished. And I think those who look young tend to do that or those that are young tend to do that because we feel like we need to prove ourselves.
You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind. Timothy Leary said that. So even though someone may look young, their experiences and mindset are what really shape their capabilities. And I mentioned this a little bit earlier, where it came, where I talked about coming in with a fresh mindset, a fresh way of thinking that maybe we didn't think about that way for 20 years. And we've been doing, you know, we've been building this cog the same way for 20 years. And somebody comes in and says, well, why don't you do it this way? It saves you an hour. And then we're like, oh, how did we not think about that for 20 years? So sometimes it's that new perspective that can just. That can really be such a game changer. And again, I hate that word, but it can change the game.
Is that better if I switch it up the other way?
I want to talk about how industries like tech or marketing might value youthful looks, as they're often associated with innovation and creativity.
Why is that?
Why is. And I've been in the tech. I've been working in tech for the last four years. So there's a lot of young people that work in my company.
And, you know, our leadership team is younger than me. And a lot of the People on the team, they're a lot younger than me, but they're so smart. These are some of the smartest people that I've worked with and I've been working for a long time. And these are, these are some really smart people.
Mindset we talked about changes things. Mindset makes us more innovative. So when we have an open mindset and we're, and it's fresh and innovative like everybody wants to be innovative, like the next, the next thing, that's what we want. And so I think we often look at, on the flip side, you know, we're talking about the negative part before, about looking young. On the positive side I think this, the young people is where we're looking for all these trends, especially in social media and we're looking at where they are because really they're going to be our next, next big chunk of buyers. They're the ones that are influencing where, where companies are spending their marketing dollars because that's where they are and that's where they buy.
And those are the ones with the, not necessarily don't have a lot of disposable income but that's where they're doing a lot of the viral sharing. And if they like something then it goes crazy. And so companies really want to know how that young mind thinks so that that company can become the next big viral thing on social media.
Now looking young can affect the types of projects or responsibilities you're entrusted with. Especially in more traditional industries. You may not be given a big high level project simply because they don't think that you can handle it if it's like a really big client and it's, there's a lot weighing on this particular project. They might give it to somebody who has 25 years experience versus somebody that has five years experience simply because there's a lot riding on that particular project.
They might bring you on as a, you know, maybe a consultant on that project but the lead technically will typically will probably be somebody who has had a lot of experience because you don't want a lot of mistakes going along with that. Now if somebody doesn't know you more than just seeing you in an office and they know your title, maybe, maybe I, you know, maybe I work at a company and I'm in my 40s and maybe I have a VP level title, let's just pretend or senior director, whatever. I have a senior director title and I've been with the company maybe only like two years but I look young and somebody that's been there for a really long Time is taking the lead on this project and they want to give a big piece of this project to my team or a team like mine. But they don't want to give it to me because they only know that I've been with the company for three years and I look really young so I must not have that much experience. So they're going to give it to, to Bob or Jane who has been at the company for 15 years and she looks, and she and I are the same age and she looks older than me. They're probably going to give it to Jane because they assume she has more experience with something like that. Or maybe she's only been with the company for three years as well, but she looks older than me. Usually it's going to go to Jane because it's assumed that because she looks older she has more experience, even though maybe my team is a better performer. That's just a hypothetical situation. I know of people who work at companies where this has happened and there are several examples of where something like this has happened. So it is a true story. Even that particular situation has not happened to me personally, but it is representative of other situations that have happened simply because people look younger.
A survey from Career builder found that 41% of young looking professionals feel that they have to work harder to be taken seriously, even if they have the same qualifications as their older looking counterparts. And that was from career builder in 2020. That just, that just reemphasizes what I just said. So if we look young, it is assumed we don't know anything or we don't have that much experience. And so it's like, what age do I have to be at for you to look at my face and think that I have experience? And really, honestly, you shouldn't, it shouldn't be judged on what I look like. And this goes to. This could lead into other topics about what we look like and how it's assumed that we know how to do things based on our physical appearance.
That's a much bigger can of worms to open. Today we're just talking about looking young.
I feel like because I look young I have to work a little harder and I have to be more braggy and I have to get more certifications and more education and I have to right off the bat say, oh, I'm in my 40s because people think I don't know anything.
I want to share some tips for leveraging the benefits and mitigating the downsides.
So let's leverage the element of surprise.
You can actually Use people's surprise to your advantage, emphasizing your experience and qualifications to solidify credibility. And that's kind of what I just said. Like, you can use it as a way to not be braggy, but to be like, Yeah, I have 20 years experience in doing this, and I got this certification last year, and I went through this leadership program this year, and I got accepted to this leadership program and finished that in 2022. And la, la, la. And use that as a way to rattle off and kind of brag.
You can find ways to align your appearance with your professional brand, whether it's through wardrobe, demeanor, or communication style. So find your unique style.
Maybe, maybe you want to wear grandma sweaters to make it. Emphasize that like you're older. I don't know, have fun with it so that it becomes more of a conversation piece. And it's more. And it. And it allows that door to open for you to have that conversation. Because really, people aren't going to find out. Unless you're a public figure and people know you or you're in your company and people see you for accomplishments or you have a certain title or a certain position that allows you to be more visible in the company, you're not going to.
People aren't going to know. And so if there's a way for you to. I don't know how. Like, what was popular when I was younger? Cabbage Patch Dolls, My Little Ponies.
When I was in high school, it was Backstreet Boys and NSYNC and Britney Spears. Like, I don't know, maybe have something from that era where you were growing up and carry that bag around with you. Make. Make a. Make a Backstreet Boys backpack. And that can be what you carry around as your brief. Do people carry briefcases anymore, but your carry bag when you go to work or whatever. I don't know. That seems silly, but I hope you get what I'm saying.
While appearance influences perception, confidence and competence are ultimately what define professional success, actually, I have an idea.
I have an idea for the unique style that'll make you stand out. So I'm an. I'm technically an elder millennial. Since I was born in 82, I identify more with Gen X than I do millennials.
But I love skinny jeans. I love ankle socks. I love a good side part. You know, there's some things I think that they're pointing out that is millennial style, but I think that could be a way that you could show that you're not young. Maybe all you need to do is just wear Some skinny jeans and some ankle socks. And then that'll just be a huge flag that, you know, oh, oh, she's old. So that is a good way that you could, you know, you could squeeze that in there and show people, oh, Yeah, a true 25 year old's not going to wear skinny jeans and ankle socks. So I think that's a good way you could stand out.
The importance of standing out.
Okay, I'm going to redo this because that's not what I wanted to say. So I want to emphasize the importance of standing by your experience and letting your work speak for yourself or for itself. So I did mention before to be quote, unquote braggy. You don't want to come off and be that person that everybody is like, oh my gosh, here comes Britney. She's going to tell us everything that she did in the past 20 years. And like when you first meet her, heads up, she's going to let you know all of the things. So you don't want to be that person, but you also want you, you do want that recognition.
I think the most important thing, especially in a professional setting, if you are in a larger company or you're in a situation where maybe projects are known before the person is known, or initiatives, let that speak for you. So if you have a project, let's just call it, I don't know why the word sunshine just popped in my head, but let's say it's Project Sunshine at your company and it's a huge project and you've decided to take that on and that was given to you to do. Be known for Project Sunshine. Don't be known for, oh, I'm Brittany and I'm in my 40s and I've done all these things and I look at all my certifications and look at all the professional development I've done on myself and look at all these teams that I've led and look at all these fundraisers that I've chaired. Yeah, let Project Sunshine speak for you. So find your Project Sunshine and let that be your guiding light. Your what goes before you so that you're known for that. And they're like, oh, Project Sunshine. Brittany did that.
And then if they look at you and they're like, wow, Brittany looks. Britney's like in her 20s. She did project Sunshine. That's amazing. And then people are like, no, she's in her 40s and she did Project Sunshine and people are like, oh, that's amazing too. So let your work speak for you.
What some of the Things that you can do to embrace and utilize your youthful appearance is practice an elevator pitch.
Create a brief personal statement that highlights your experience and achievements, which can help establish credibility quickly. So when you're doing your introduction and you're in your quote unquote bragginess or whatever, and maybe you don't have a Project Sunshine ahead of you right now, just practice a quick elevator pitch that gives people an overview that's, you know, that gives them an idea of who you are and what you're capable of. And you're not coming off as a braggy jerk. Nobody likes a braggy jerk.
Focus on building authority through actions. Take on leadership roles or projects like Project Sunshine that showcase your skills regardless of appearances. So the easiest way to do this is to volunteer somewhere. A lot of the leadership and fundraising and a lot of the team building that I've learned has come from my volunteer experience. I have volunteered with the Junior League, I have volunteered with humane societies. I've done mostly military spouse organizations for military families.
But those groups will allow you to step into leadership roles. And a lot of times they're really hurting for people, they really need help. And it will give you an opportunity to step in, to be like, okay, I'll do it, I'll do it. And some of it's really hard. But when you come out and you've accomplished so much and you've learned so much, you can say, yeah, I'm the one who chaired that fundraiser and we raised $13,000 and we did all of these things and it was under my leadership. You can use that and let that speak for you. Instead of, I got this certification and I got this and I've done this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You can be like, you know, this, this shows this, this fundraiser that I created and that I chaired. Produce something for another organization and was helpful and that can help you get recognition just by simply volunteering. Because people see, people watch, people know.
I want you to add some affirmations. We talk about affirmations a lot on this podcast.
And here, this is just an example affirmation. I don't love this one, but it's something like, I am more than how I look. My experience and abilities define me.
An affirmation like this and you can come up with your own, but it can help counteract any self doubt related to youthful appearance. I think now I've just gotten to the point where I'm like, I'm going to let people think whatever they want to think about me, and then, then once they Find out. They'll be shocked. And, you know, I don't know that it has anything to do with the way I act, but I will tell you that a lot of times I'll be hanging out with people in their 20s, and I feel like I'm still in my 20s. But then they start talking about things, and I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. And I'm like, okay, I'm definitely not in my 20s anymore. But, you know, it's still fun to pretend sometimes. So hanging out with people who are younger can actually bring out that youthfulness in you, and it can be fun. So play it up sometimes if you can. Why not?
Your age is a gift. No matter the number, it gives you permission to be whoever you want it to be.
Age is just a number. So if we are in our 40s and our 30s and our 20s, in our 60s and our 50s and our 70s, it doesn't matter.
You hear so many stories of people going back to school in their 70s, going back to school in their 40s, wanting a career change.
That's the beauty of life, is that we have the ability to make choices, to change at any time. We don't have to be in our early 20s to make a change. We can do it whenever. No matter what we look like, no matter how young or how old we look or how our age we look, we have that ability to do that. And so what we decide to do with whatever number we happen to be, that's our choice. If we want to use it for us and use it as our, you know, take it, use it as an advantage, or if we want to let it bother us. And I think the more that those who are bothered by age are the ones that it really becomes kind of an obsession to look younger. Do younger, be younger. I don't want to be old. I've never really understood that. Like, I've always, always wanted to be older. I've never really wanted to be younger. The only time I've ever wanted to be younger is because of the body changes that happen. Like, my face really hasn't changed that much. It has changed a little bit because it's gotten a little bit, not a little bit more droopy. I guess it's not as tight as it used to be in my 20s, but my body is what's changed. So if you're looking at me on a zoom screen, I look younger. But if we're with each other in real life, I think that's when I look a little bit Closer to my age, Maybe not my 40s, but in my early 30s.
I want to say that younger looking individuals are often perceived as more approachable, yet are less likely to be viewed as authoritative by peers. And that was a Journal of Social Psychology 2019 study. So we're more approachable because we're not threatening.
But it's hard to take authority from somebody who looks young. I think it just, in general, it's just somebody who's, you know, cute and no wrinkles and no, I don't know, gray hair. It just seems like they're. They're not going to be as mean as somebody who looks cranky.
And I guess. Does being old mean you're cranky? I don't think so.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but so is respect.
Make them see past your youth and recognize your strengths.
Make them see past your youth and recognize your strengths. I think this goes back to the Sunshine. The Sunshine Project. Find your Sunshine Project and lean on that. Get your elevator pitch going.
It is a. It is something that I feel bad having to do a podcast episode about because some people really want to look young. But at the same time, it is something that bothers me. And I know that there are other people out there that it bothers as well. So let this be our place, our safe space to come together and say, I do look young. And it bothers me when people think that I'm not as qualified because I look young.
So if you need to commiserate with me, please email me. Mom. Thereemote. Mom.
Find me on the socials on LinkedIn if you want to come on the podcast and talk about your experience. I think this is something that not a lot of people are really talking about. So I'd love to share your story, but let's talk about it. That's it today. This episode actually went really long. I don't know why this one went longer. I think because this one kind of bothers me a lot.
And if you don't agree, if you think that this is something that, you know, it's a great problem to have. Yes, it is a great problem to have, but it is real and it is something that is bothersome and it has hindered things. It has, you know, it affects people, think differently of people who look really young. So it's a real thing and it needs to be talked about. It is validated.
All right? So I want to remind you that while appearances can influence initial perceptions, true professional success comes from within.
I want to reassure you that you can overcome biases associated with looking young and leverage the positive aspects to your advantage. Find your sunshine Project.
As we say here at the Remote Mom Collective podcast, being different makes a difference. So let's support and inspire each other. Thanks, y'all, for being here on this long episode today. Have a great day.
